I forgive

So this is how self forgiveness has gone for me, before I even new about desteni I’d heard about self forgiveness and one day sat under a tree with my dogs notepad and pen and went as far back as I could and started to forgive myself I was there a while I had a lot to go over in 40+ years when I packed up and started to walk home I felt lighter bright something in me felt better and after the things that used to come up about the past in flashes subsided:) years later a come upon desteni and when reading all about them I remember that day and how I felt and thought hey this might be good for me. An so my forgiveness started most days I would be asleep in my mind and totally forget about self forgiveness and only did it when I was doing course work, so when I was in a situation where I thought hey this need SF I’d go nah it’s ok I can get over this without SF I’ve got this under raps but might do the odd 4 count breathe to steady myself anyway seeing I thought I know best and always taking the easy rout of doing nothing I saw things only changed when I did SF on my coursework I was getting great result and massive changes in my life, in fact I feel I’ve turned my life around 🙂 but it wasn’t until decide to take on my biggest problem my OCD that SF kicked ass and is still kicking ass hey 🙂 back in April this year I started and it hit me like a ton of bricks I went through very tough emotions and feeling over being overwhelmed and if it wasn’t for SF my constant vigilance of SF I would have never got through it, I had to do SF all day long, what I noticed after every SF there was a slight life in my physical like I was being lifted out of the situation step by step and sure I feel down the stairs a few time but as long as I picked myself up it was good a few months had past I thought I’d got this in the bag, as soon as that happen as many of you know it comes back with a vengeance lol and I spend a couple of days wrestling until I thought hang on come on basic principle get on it, hours later I got, I new before that when I went to do/think my OCD there was a problem I needed to deal with and if not checked it would run riot I also new and think my OCD was to be used as a starting point to see what’s going on what am I not coping with, so my trigger would become my friend best friend. So use you step ladder of SF and pull your self out look for physical signs within and use that to make you next step to love yourself and what you are doing 🙂 X